• There is no perfect parent. Imperfection is okay-you only need to be a “good enough” parent. It can all be learned.

• The way we parent is largely the result of how we were parented, both for good and for bad.

• Today, there is a wealth of research and resources to help us figure out how to parent effectively.

• Good parenting creates physical and emotional safety and a secure platform from which to engage the world.

• Effective parents promote resiliency in children that fosters self-protection and enables healthy coping skills.

• Knowledge of parenting styles and skills creates a “tool bag” to draw from in order to meet the needs of each child.

Critical factors in parenting include:

• Warmth (both physical and emotional)

• Consistency in both presence and guidance

• Positive reinforcement more than punishment

• Flexibility in adapting to the emotional and developmental needs of the child

• Sensitive Attunement: being able to read and respond appropriately to your child’s emotional state

• Every child must pass through developmental stages.

• Success at each stage is largely dependent on success at earlier stages.

• Knowledge of these stages can provide a roadmap for parents in guiding their children and increase parents’ sense of efficacy in their role.

• It is imperative to know what a child should and should not be expected to do developmentally. Expecting behavior beyond developmental level guarantees frustration and discouragement for parent and child.

• At any stage, it is most effective to meet children where they are, mentally, physically, and emotionally.

• Try to be mindful of how the child sees the world.

• A cornerstone of healthy development is learning to regulate one’s emotions. Children learn this through repeated interaction with a consistent caregiver who models positive emotional states.

• The child internalizes the self-calming patterns modeled by caregivers and learns to use them independently.

• If emotional self-regulation is difficult for a parent, there are resources available to assist in gaining those skills.

• Just as children pass through developmental stages, so do parents. Parenting needs to evolve as children mature in order to continue to meet their needs and promote healthy development.